If you feel good when people compliment you, you are preparing yourself to feel down when they tell you that you’re not good. “What you’re really telling me is that you want to be desired, you want to be applauded, to be attractive, to have all the little monkeys running after you.” (Anthony Demelo) You have to always be living up to the expectations of others, to be smart, funny, good looking, caring. No one ever rejects or accepts you, only to who they think you are, not you. Drop the illusion that you need to be loved and appreciated, to be important because right now most of our reality comes from what others are thinking. So much of us is freed up when we realize we don’t have to explain ourselves. Society is the only thing that determines what it means to be a success and societies do not have the answers, they just keep everyone sick. The feeling of guilt is just society disagreeing with your behavior. We are addicted just as a drug addict for approval, attention, success, being the boss and now you dread the idea of losing them. Society shapes our desires with the most obvious example being commercial advertisement. You have to prevent yourself from copying others desires and to find out what it is you desire.
Without awareness you are vulnerable because you are a puppet always monitoring the reactions of others. You need to give yourself the infinite patience and compassion you would give a drug addict. When dealing with other people you must say to yourself “I have no right to make any demands on you” but what you can control is your mood and reactions to them. Otherwise your mind is saying “You better behave as I demand or I shall punish myself by having negative feelings.” You don’t have trust in anyone, you only have your judgements of people. No one can hurt you psychologically, you can only hurt yourself.
